Mediation during divorce is one way to reach an agreement acceptable to both parties without litigation. Find out how to make the process more productive with tips from an EP Wealth advisor. Divorce financial planning services are available nationwide.
When Is Mediation a Good Solution for Divorce?
Mediation is a powerful tool that allows divorcing couples to reach a mutual agreement regarding financial matters without litigation. Part of my work as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® is to support couples throughout this process.
When it’s done well, mediation can save divorcing couples time, money, and stress.
The Role of a Mediator
By definition, a mediator is a go-between who attempts to help people come to an agreement. In divorce mediation, the mediator is not there to get either spouse a good “deal.” Rather, their role is to help facilitate a deal acceptable to both parties.
Will Mediation Work for Me?
Couples often ask if financial mediation will work for them. I tell them the first rule is to be transparent. Both spouses have to be open and honest about the finances for mediation to work. The mediator is not there to investigate their financials. They only work with the information they are provided.
Some couples have what I call an “out-spouse.” That’s a partner who may not be involved in the household finances and may come with lots of questions. They may be learning some details for the first time. It’s essential for the other spouse to be forthcoming, or discussions will be stalled.
Also, both parties must be engaged in the process. If one party drags their feet or gets evasive when questions are asked, those are signs mediation may not be a good fit.
Unlike court proceedings, which have very precise deadlines, mediation can really go on indefinitely. A reluctant spouse can cause talks to drag out for years, to the point where the couple ends up spending more on mediation than they would on litigation.
How to Approach Mediation
If you’re unsure how your soon-to-be ex will handle mediation, I say treat that first meeting like a job interview. Ask lots of questions. For example, ask the mediator how information will be exchanged—or what the timelines may look like.
Asking questions allows you to connect with and build trust with your mediator. It’s also a chance to observe how your spouse reacts. If there is pushback or defensiveness, it may not be possible to reach your goals through financial mediation.
Creating a Mediation Mission Statement
Another tool I recommend to help make the process peaceful and productive is a financial mediation “mission statement.” Take some time together to write down your goals for the process. What are your reasons for going this route?
Cutting down on divorce costs is one reason clients mediate. Some couples want to avoid exposing their children to unnecessary turmoil.
There are those clients that are looking ahead to the future. They want to be able to attend their child’s wedding or the birth of a grandchild with their ex without conflict.
Ask yourselves, “Can we do this in our own way where we can reach a positive outcome?”
I say: create your mission statement. Agree to it. And when things get challenging, go back and revisit it. It’s a symbol of your commitment to work together and reach an agreement that works for everyone.
As a financial advisor specializing in divorce financial planning, I want to help couples move towards the goal of having two financially sound households where both can thrive during the next phase of life.
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DISCLOSURES
- Information presented is general in nature and should not be viewed as a comprehensive analysis of the topics discussed. Content does not involve the rendering of personalized investment advice, nor is it intended to supplement professional individualized advice.
- As the author of this piece, EP Wealth Advisors, LLC (“EPWA”) has tailored the messaging of this article to align with the categories, services, qualifications, capabilities, and services that it offers and can service. It is intended to serve as a tool containing general information that should assist you in the development of subsequent discussions with the appropriate professionals. EPWA makes no representations or warranties as to the accuracy, timeliness, suitability, completeness, or relevance of any information presented. All expressions of opinion by the author are subject to change without notice.
- EPWA is not in the business of providing legal services or advice. Always consult your tax advisor and/or attorney regarding your specific situation.
- The Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (“CDFA®”) that are employed by EP Wealth Advisors, LLC are not practicing attorney, accountant, tax professional, or legal expert. All assessments and subsequent recommendations limited and are performed exclusively under the guise of financial planning. An attorney must be retained in order to professional and accurately assess legal options and/or to provide counsel. We also recommend consulting a CPA, accountant, or tax professional.
- Hiring or working with a CDFA® does not guarantee or ensure that a client or prospective client will experience encouraging or favorable results.
- Information presented is general in nature and should not be viewed as a comprehensive analysis of the topics discussed. It is intended to serve as a tool containing general information that should assist you in the development of subsequent discussions. Content does not involve the rendering of personalized investment, tax, or legal advice nor is it intended to supplement professional individualized advice by the appropriate professional(s).
- The decision to work with a CDFA® professional will differ amongst clients and depend on individual circumstances of each respective client. There is no guarantee or warrantee that the services offered by EP Wealth Advisors, LLC and/or a CDFA® will satisfy your divorce service needs. Services offered by other professionals may align more to your specific needs.
- EP Wealth Advisors, LLC. is registered as an investment advisor with the SEC and only transacts business in states where it is properly registered or is excluded or exempted from registration requirements. SEC registration does not constitute an endorsement of the firm by the Commission nor does it indicate that the advisor has attained a particular level of skill or ability. Information presented is general in nature and should not be viewed as a comprehensive analysis of the topics discussed. It is intended to serve as a tool containing general information that should assist you in the development of subsequent discussions with the appropriate professionals. Content does not involve the rendering of personalized investment advice nor is it intended to supplement professional individualized advice. Please consult a professional Financial Advisor before applying any of the approaches or strategies made referenced directly or indirectly in this publication.
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